How can you know what's been put into a person's mind?
You can start by looking at their bookshelf.
Women need to pick up on subtle cues, since they're the targets of rape, murder, and kidnapping. Many serial killers, con artists, rapists, etc. are considered by neighbors, friends, and family as supposedly "nice and normal".
I think the subconscious, the dark inner self, leaks out. There are always indications of something wrong in a person, if you are perceptive, skeptical, and experienced.
Leaks of the subconscious include offhand remarks, unusual word choice, odd facial expressions, displays of irrationality, sudden outbursts, and...the bookshelf, DVDs, and video games in their home.
Kathy Sierra started the Twitter debate with this innocent, low key message:
Tweet 1
How many have experienced the "I thought he was awesome... until I saw his bookshelf..." (bookshelf could be playlist, DVD collection, etc.)
http://twitter.com/KathySierra/statuses/848519189
Apparently, she got some dissent, though I replied to her in agreement, so her next tweet was defensive. In her third Twitter message, she replied to me (my Twitter nickname is my old blog title, vaspersthegrate).
Tweet 2
So it's shallow & I'm kidding about judging ppl by their reading, movie, or music choices... but in a profile/quick look... they have value.
http://twitter.com/KathySierra/statuses/848527613
[My reply to Kathy Sierra:]
@KathySierra - NO! You are absolutely right. If a person has trashy, violent, vulgar books and movies, that's what they ARE!
http://twitter.com/vaspersthegrate/statuses/848529214
Tweet 3
@vaspersthegrate imagine you have 15 minutes in the apt. of someone you might date. What do you look at/for? Points for subtle inferencing.
http://twitter.com/KathySierra/statuses/848536465
Here are some of the other Twitter replies to the conversation.
@vaspersthegrate @KathySierra PBS got better ratings when Nielsen used hand written diaries (people wanted to be seen as intellectual)...
http://twitter.com/jpostman/statuses/848530941
@vaspersthegrate @KathySierra As soon as television viewing habits were tracked by technology, data changed.
http://twitter.com/jpostman/statuses/848531297
@KathySierra - Women especially need to pay attention to such cues about a guy, as what's on his bookshelf and DVD collection. All porn?
http://twitter.com/vaspersthegrate/statuses/848534118
@jpostman - Reminds us that a con artist, rapist, molester, etc. could have nothing but good things in bookshelf & DVDs to fool the victim.
http://twitter.com/vaspersthegrate/statuses/848535490
@vaspersthegrate It's a bit reductive to judge people according to their acquired media - or, worse, a portion thereof.
http://twitter.com/JustinKownacki/statuses/848534706
Have you formed opinions about people by what's on their bookshelf or DVDs? What if it's all religious, or romantic, or violent, or porn?
http://twitter.com/vaspersthegrate/statuses/848537038
@vaspersthegrate If ALL a person owns is cultural trash, that's one thing. But if it's part of a larger collection, they're just eclectic.
http://twitter.com/JustinKownacki/statuses/848535207
@JustinKownacki - Why would a person's books, DVDs, video games not be a good indicator of their personality? I think it's good evidence.
http://twitter.com/vaspersthegrate/statuses/848549700
@vaspersthegrate What if it has been 20 years since they bought a book?
http://twitter.com/fairminder/statuses/848538457
@vaspersthegrate Um. So which is the "dangerous" guy - the one with all porn DVDs or all Mozart? When did you become a 9-11-ish alarmist? ;)
http://twitter.com/JustinKownacki/statuses/848540636
@vaspersthegrate Indicators, perhaps, but not evidence. The only video games I own are sports games. Does that make me a jock?
http://twitter.com/JustinKownacki/statuses/848551268
@vaspersthegrate What if a person's books are all by conservative authors, but the person is really a liberal looking to understand others?
http://twitter.com/JustinKownacki/statuses/848552346
@justinkownacki - If the majority of person's books, DVDs, video games are violent or porn, I can make a reliable assessment of their heart.
http://twitter.com/vaspersthegrate/statuses/848612731
@vaspersthegrate where do you think twitter fits in? not blogging, not emailing but more personal and connected, so...better???
http://twitter.com/y2vonne/statuses/848564749
@y2vonne - Good point. Yes, Twitter is, or can be, far more intimate than blogs. Some are cold self-promoters. Most users seem more human.
http://twitter.com/vaspersthegrate/statuses/848613660
My blog is single-focus business & my Twittering is spontaneous, intimate, rash, intense, combative, human, controversial, trivial, varied.
http://twitter.com/vaspersthegrate/statuses/848616203
@vaspersthegrate I love your spontaneous, intimate, rash, intense, combative, human, controversial, trivial, varied Tweets :>)
http://twitter.com/whatsnext/statuses/848622979
I'm not saying that you judge someone totally by their books, DVDs, CDs, or video games. All I'm saying is that women especially must pay attention to various signals when it comes to dating or selecting a husband.
We can learn a lot about a person, even a potential employer, by the books displayed in their home or office.
It's not a foolproof, guaranteed method for personality evaluation, but it can be of value. Keep your eyes and ears open. Ponder. Think about inconsistencies. Discuss your concerns with family, friends, other trusted individuals. Don't be paranoid, but also don't be a chump who misses obvious or subtle cues.
I would love to hear your opinion on this interesting topic.
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